Currently, I am sitting in Chicago O’Hare Airport eating the same meal that I shared with Kevin almost three years ago. Sam Adams and buffalo wings because I am a classy lady with excellent taste. We were eating this delicious meal of carbs and alcohol because I had just received a promotion that would move…
Author: mnweinberger88
Making my way through grief. One day at a time.
Only Love Can Do That.
I was in the worst kind of haze. The kind where you feel your mind is outside of your body and it’s just floating along. I remember taking the longest shower. Just leaning against the wall and letting the water wash over me because I couldn’t cry anymore. I started talking to Kevin. It was…
Serenity.
Whenever life’s bitter knife strikes my heart all I crave is serenity. Sometimes, I picture myself in the wide open field on my great grandparent’s farm. It is filled with vibrant green grass, daisies and surrounded by a thick forest. The air is cool, but there is a heavenly warmth from the sun. In…
Turn on the Light.
One of my favorite lessons from this last year is learning my ability to change my situation. It is a freeing feeling that I do not have to settle for mediocre because I have the power and ability to change it. My life is only as mediocre as I allow it to be. Right now…
Invincible Summer.
My journey through grief has been such a learning experience. One would expect it to be difficult, but I never expected the deep level of soul-searching that happens. Grief essentially strips you down to your core and you’re forced to face your WHOLE self. That includes all those deep dark corners of yourself that you have…
This is a marathon.
Different day. Same battle. Someone else got the happiness that I wanted. Nothing happened to me. They didn’t do anything to me or because of me. But tell that to my emotions. I took a long walk because it wasn’t so freezing out this weekend. My head was all over the place. I started talking…
Let it go, girl. Let it go.
Letting go of my bitterness has been a challenge. How can I be hurt by people who are simply living their lives post-losing Kevin? It’s not anyone’s fault. I just seem to be having a hard time letting go of this hurtful feeling that I am being forgotten now that Kevin is gone. That without Kevin I no longer matter to…
Life, uncluttered.
When I get stressed, I clean. It’s a sickness. A sickness that uses to plague Kevin to no end. Once, I came home from a minor surgery and was still out of it from anesthesia. Kev carried me to my bed and quickly fell asleep. A few minutes later he woke up to hearing me cleaning the…
Tell Them.
Confession: I’m a fangirl of beauty vlogger, Jaclyn Hill. I already wrote about how makeup became the spark I needed to get my life started again (here), but what I did not mention was the source of that spark. It was Jaclyn Hill’s videos. It was another one those awful grief mornings. I pulled the…
The Contradiction of Moving On
I am proud of how far I have come. I am actually able to enjoy my life. This time last year I absolutely did not think that was ever going to happen again. I like where I live and I like having roommates again. Maybe it’s my recent Friends binge watching on Netflix, but I’d like to…
Learning to Live Life Deliberately 