Wearing nail polish, lipstick or anything other than a t-shirt was a foreign concept to me for most of my life. Yes, I was a cheerleader, but I was also potty trained on the football field. Shopping was never my thing. In fact, I hate it. Still, do. It’s not that I don’t enjoy wearing…
Fighting For Good Days.
I knew I needed to get help about the second month after the funeral. I moved out of my apartment, my family went home, I went back to work and it was the time I start life. This time without Kevin. Facing that reality somehow felt like a relapse. It got painfully quiet and I…
Simple Joys
We had big dreams. Dreams of traveling the world together. Dreams of going to a Boston Red Sox game and sipping Sam Adams fresh from the brewery. Dreams of building a house together and raising a family. We loved talking about our dreams despite not having the funds to support them. We had little money…
Miss Independent
I can remember being young and my cousin telling me, “Missy, you’re so mean to boys.” “…And?” was my response. It’s not so much that I hated guys, I just enjoyed being independent and had a take no shit attitude. I remember Kevin finding this out. It didn’t take him long. In fact, I remember…
To The Beat Of My Heart.
I always hated sad music. When Kevin would play the soundtrack of Les Miserable I wanted to run. I use to get so mad at him. I’d rather play some Motown or cheesy pop music. He, being the man of my dreams, enjoyed his fair share of boy bands so we worked out fine. But…
Naked Souls.
Hardships bring out the truest form of a person. I don’t think this is anything new. One would imagine a life changing event would shake a person. It’s not just the person directly affected by the event that shakes their shell either. Those closets around them are forced to do the same. When something this…
A Love Letter.
“Hey baby, I’m so in love with you and so happy I found you. You’re everything to me. Everything I do is done with you and our future in mind. I appreciate how ambitious you are and how ambitious you push me to be. I respect your work ethic and the way you balance your…
You’re Going to be Okay.
That’s the biggest lie anyone could tell me. My soul has been torn apart and my entire world has been changed forever. That sounds like such a grand statement and even I can’t fully believe I am applying it to myself, but it’s true. Kevin holds so much of my heart and to have it…
My Patronus.
There is no preparing for the kind of pain grief brings upon your soul. I thought I had felt low before, but I had never reached this dark space where no hope or light existed. I am a relatively positive person and no matter how low I feel, I have always managed to find some…
Little Black Dress.
There is a dress in my closet that I’ll probably never wear again. It’s a beautiful dress from a friend’s boutique. It carries the smell of the funeral home that I can never seem to get out. I remember being told by my family that I needed to get a dress. After all, I hadn’t packed a formal…
Hello.
November 26, 2014, is the date my life changed forever. I experienced the devastating loss of someone I considered to be the love of my life and my soul mate. After several months of dealing with this grief, I have found that hugs, words, and love from others can be life affirming. Nothing, however, gives me…
Learning to Live Life Deliberately 